HEALING

Each of 64 consecutive days beginning Jan. 31 and ending April 4 has a topic specifically to promote one's self-reflection, growth and tolerance - first personally, then globally - to help rid the world of violence.  Since the pamphlet didn't arrive until today, I am several days behind.  Today's subject:  Healing.  "Choose a painful incident in your life and find the 'gift' it has given you.  Consciously, share this gift with others."

There have been several very painful incidents in my life that have caused me great distress: the death of my infant daughter (of infant death syndrome) which left me with guilt grief, and insecurity; the sudden and unexpected death of my second husband (heart attack); the expected death of my third husband esophageal cancer); the prolonged death of my best friend (multiple myloma). These losses were agonizingly hurtful, the residue of grief still lingering in my psyche.  They forced me to contemplate:  that life is very tenuous and anything I may place too much reliance on can disappear in a heartbeat; the universe is not ganging up on me to see how much grief I can take nor how abandoned I can feel;

everyone has his own journey to take and the best way I can support him on his to step back, show him dignity and love, trusting that some power is directing him as well as it is directing me; I am a strong woman - a fact I had known before; that in the future I could help others manage their grief and loss without giving up on life.  Many times life can be a bummer, but I have had to remember:  something or someone else always comes along to fill the vacuum, improving and adding dimension to my life.  New thoughts, new friends, new perspectives - these are the gifts that have been given me.