I COME FROM

Am currently reading Writing to Change the World by Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia; one of her exercises has you start with I Come From...  here's what I came up with.

I come from Irish, Catholic, middle class, laborers

I come from my mother, Hazel Tobin born in Denison TX, oldest of 5

I come from my father, George Ryan born in Caldwell KA, youngest of 10

I come from my grandfather George Frances Tobin, born in Plattsburg MO

I come from my grandmother Margaret McNamara born in Prinston KA

I come from my grandfather John Joseph Ryan born in Pittsburgh PA

I come from my grandmother Catherine Connors born in County Westmeath IR

I come from Kansas wheat fields, glaring hot sun, winter storms, sweeping plains, steak and potatoes, Democrats, working men, homemaker mothers, apple pie, the flag, holidays, post offices in small towns, soda fountains, ukuleles, ice cream parties, strung lights

I come from California red geraniums, palm trees, deserts, redwood forests, earthquakes, ocean beaches, fogs and mists, tans, exotic foods, wine, fruits, nuts, sunlight, lakes, tall mountains, new ideas

I come from Atlantic crossings, Catholic priests and nuns prayers, guilt and shame, potato famines red hair and green eyes, alabaster skin, shot folks, ale

I come from wit, self-effacing humor, aching belly laughs, ludicrous sarcasm, endless jokes, long talks, arguments, jokes, fun

I come from melancholy, dark thoughts, grave concerns, doubt, distrust, self- doubt, poverty, shyness, sadness, regret

I come from dreams, wanderlust, searching, adventure, learning, church, rebellion, revolution, swearing, expectations, disappointment

I come from waiting, pausing, questioning, apprehension, fear of God, postponement

I come from success, joy, happiness, hope, optimism, fulfillment

HEALING

Each of 64 consecutive days beginning Jan. 31 and ending April 4 has a topic specifically to promote one's self-reflection, growth and tolerance - first personally, then globally - to help rid the world of violence.  Since the pamphlet didn't arrive until today, I am several days behind.  Today's subject:  Healing.  "Choose a painful incident in your life and find the 'gift' it has given you.  Consciously, share this gift with others."

There have been several very painful incidents in my life that have caused me great distress: the death of my infant daughter (of infant death syndrome) which left me with guilt grief, and insecurity; the sudden and unexpected death of my second husband (heart attack); the expected death of my third husband esophageal cancer); the prolonged death of my best friend (multiple myloma). These losses were agonizingly hurtful, the residue of grief still lingering in my psyche.  They forced me to contemplate:  that life is very tenuous and anything I may place too much reliance on can disappear in a heartbeat; the universe is not ganging up on me to see how much grief I can take nor how abandoned I can feel;

everyone has his own journey to take and the best way I can support him on his to step back, show him dignity and love, trusting that some power is directing him as well as it is directing me; I am a strong woman - a fact I had known before; that in the future I could help others manage their grief and loss without giving up on life.  Many times life can be a bummer, but I have had to remember:  something or someone else always comes along to fill the vacuum, improving and adding dimension to my life.  New thoughts, new friends, new perspectives - these are the gifts that have been given me.

Writing

I am in a time warp; the only activity that really relieves me is reading.  Today I finished Michael Tobias' gripping fiction novel, Chateau Beyond Time.  Similar to The Da Vinci Code in that there is frantic searching, much digging about in ancient, secret monasteries and their libraries; racing from one European city to another via SUV, taxi, train, plane; Interpol, secret police, local gendarmes.  As one would expect, it takes place, as Da Vinci did, in France.  he search is for a lost book that if found will be the Future Testament, after of course, the New and Old.  It held my uninterrupted interest for two days and I put it down with a sigh, relieved at the ending, glad it didn't continue.  Instead of a search for the grail, this book reminds me of Jurassic Park.  If pretty implausible, the author is a wonderfully marvelous researcher.

I attended the monthly Southwest Writers meeting today; coincidentally, the guest speaker talked of research, especially when writing historically: how much to do, when to stop; how to incorporate your hard-fought-for findings into your story without making your research the book!  As an extra bonus, I got in on the New Members' potluck.  The meeting inspired me so much that I signed up for an all-day writers conference later this month, complete with famous speakers who've made the 'big-time' and will share their expertise with us. They are screenwriters who will guide those interested in how to convert their novels into screen plays or vice versa.  I hope to participate in more events this year.

Last night two friends and I attended a Fractal show held at the Planetarium, within the Natural Science Museum.  A fractal, we discovered, is a mathematical equation entered into a computer resulting in mesmerizing formations, projected onto the overhead dome.  With much zooming in and out, the presenter told us that each piece of a fractal is exactly like every other part, from the large center to the tiniest particle, into infinity, a definite mind-enhancing evening, for sure.  It reminded me of being inside a kaleidoscope as it was being rotated; also of reading about the holographic universe several years ago; stem cell research, et al.  The audience, mostly young people, was spellbound, breaking into applause

several times.  The information man revealed that he takes a portable plastic dome into schools so that children can see what we saw last night.  He was so excited that the city of Albuquerque has agreed to his painting fractals on some of the high-rise buildings in town, to spread the word around!  Kids are learning geometry and having fun doing it!  Wonders never cease!

Albuquerque is unique in that it abounds in diversity on all levels: cultures, art, science, music, senior citizens' programs, sports, changing weather patterns.  It also has diversity on other levels:  crime, neglect, racism, violence, drinking, drugs - but this is the way of things, isn't it?  Which project to invest money and time in, what nurtures one's soul, which cause to volunteer to stop, which to leave to others.

A time warp, indeed.  I must read, and write.